*I had problems coming up with stories recently. Writer's block I guess. Here is another one but a whole new different genre. Enjoy!*
I had enough
of the fights between my parents, the constant, daily quarrels, the slaps, the
struggles. I had enough of my dad’s abuse to my mother, and to myself. The bruises
I see on my mother, the swells I see on myself. The many times my elder brother,
Thomas, screamed at my drunken father to stop. The term ‘divorce’ was even
coming up. Even in school, I was labeled a freak. Maybe it was because of the
long sweaters I wore, the long jackets I was always wearing. The reason for
those was just to cover the bruises on my arms. I was long jeans to cover the
ones on my legs. When I have any bruises or cuts on my face, I wear long
hoodies to cover them. I tried to stay hidden in school, but that idea of mine
didn’t work out as I planned.
I was noticed by a sweet boy, Jake. One day, he saw
a bad cut on my chin; he brought a first aid kit and helped patch up the cut. He
knows about my dysfunctional family. Soon, he and I fell in love despite all
the commotion. I thought I was improving, I thought I could live past 18 and
move out. But all my thoughts were wrong; I wanted to end it all, that
particular night.
I wrote 2 notes, one for Jake, the other for my
mother and my brother. I had a bottle of Ambien beside me, and a sharp blade at
the side. I popped 2 pills of Ambien, just enough to numb my senses and pain. I
took the blade and steady it on my left wrist. I took a deep breath and cut
across my wrist. A sudden sharp pain ran across my wrist. The scarlet, ruby red
blood oozed out from the wound. The pain was just present for a short while
before I drifted into final unconsciousness and fell into my bed.
My eyes flutter opened to a really bright light. I
tried to sitting up, but my head was very painful, a really throbbing pain at
the back of my head. My sight slowly refocused and I saw a really bright, white
room. There was no windows, no doors, no furniture, no carpets, but just four
white walls facing me. I felt confused, scared, I didn’t know where I was. I
suddenly felt a sharp pain in my left wrist. I brought my left hand to eye
level to see what had happened. I saw a thin line on my wrist. Suddenly, I
remembered what I was doing. I became even more confused. ‘Where was I? Am I
dead? Am I in heaven?’ I kept asking myself those questions over and over.
Suddenly, I felt someone’s hand on my shoulder.
“Hey there kiddo…” I turned to see who it was. It was my dead Uncle George. I
was so relieved to see someone I know there. “Uncle George!” I hugged him
tight. He gave a baritone chuckle and said, “Never thought to see you here,
what happened?” Uncle George had passed away two years ago, while fighting with
pancreatic cancer. I explained what was I facing, the abuse, the trauma, the
pain. I told him I decided to take my life away. He was in deep thought after I
was finished. I was still wondering where I was at that moment. “Uncle George,
where am I?” I asked. He ruffled my hair, “Well Valerie, it is up to you to
decide where you would want to be…” I suddenly thought of a hall filled with
many, many books, like a library. At the blink of an eye, I was standing in
between two huge rows of shelves full of books. I stood there in awe. “You do
still have that interest in books, don’t you…” Uncle George said. I nodded. I
walked through the row, with Uncle George beside me. “Hey Valerie, don’t you
feel sad leaving you family and friends behind?” I gave a little thought and
said, “Yeah, I do miss Thomas and mum, and a little of dad too. But I don’t
miss the pain and misery I had been through. And about friends, I don’t have
any…” Uncle George looked at me in the eye, and said, “Then what about that
boy, Jake? Isn’t he your friend?” I felt myself blush at the sound of his name.
“Yeah, he is…maybe, more than a friend…” I smiled to myself. But Uncle George’s
face had a very sad look. “But you took your life away from your family and
him…” I felt sad right after he said that. Then I told him, “But don’t worry, I
will wait for him here. I will wait for my family here too.” I said with a fake
happiness in my smile. But Uncle George could see through me. “You know very
well that Jake will eventually move on, find another girl, settle down and get
married.” I didn’t want to listen to him, but I knew it was the truth. Uncle
George shook his head in disappointment.
Uncle George ran his fingers through many books on
the shelves until he found a book and passed it to me. I opened it up, and saw
a moving photo, like the ones from Harry Potter. I squinted at the photo; it
took me a few seconds to realize what I was looking at. I saw myself inside the
photo. I was lying on a bed, with an oxygen mask covered my face. I looked like
I was sleeping. My left wrist was bandaged up. I was under the drip, with
monitors around me, monitoring my heartbeat. I wasn’t a doctor, but I knew my
heart rate was rather weak. Then, I saw who was beside me. I saw my mother,
holding my hand and crying. I saw my father sitting down beside the window, his
head in his hand, crying. Thomas was pacing around, mumbling, clearly to my
father. I could make out the words formed in his mouth, “Look what you have
done to your daughter? To your beloved daughter!” I felt a tear rolled down
from my eyes. I saw another person standing next to my bed too; it took me
awhile to understand who it was. It was Jake. He was making paper cranes out of
colourful origami paper. He made at least 50 of them. He strung all of them
with a thread and tied it above my head. He put a strand of my hair off my pale
face and kissed me on the cheek. “Val, hang in there…”
I was crying like crap when I saw that photo. Uncle
George put a hand on my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “You still have the
chance to go back to your life and sort things out…” I wiped the tears away, “No,
I don’t want to go back.” I was serious with my decision. “If that’s so, turn
the next page.” I followed his instructions and turned. I was brought to a
funeral. I saw my parents crying, my brother Thomas sobbing hard, and Jake,
clearly not focusing, being dazed. I didn’t understand what was I seeing, until
I saw the body in the casket. I saw myself in there. My hand flew to my mouth
in disbelief. I was witnessing my own funeral. Then, the photo vanished and
another took place. I saw Thomas going into deep depression. He became so thin
and frail. He couldn’t eat, he couldn’t sleep. He was tormented by nightmares.
I felt so hurt looking at him. His once well-built body became so fragile and
weak. I wanted to scream at him, asking him to wake up! But then, it was my
fault he became like this. The next photo took me to Jake. Jake couldn’t sleep
well every night, waking up every single night, crying. His face looked so
sunken in, with bad eye bags under his eyes. After that, the next photo showed
me my parents. They aren’t talking anymore, both of them keeping quiet,
secluded in their own world, but I know very well, that they are not alright. I
cried uncontrollably at the sight of all of them.
Uncle George closed the book and took it away from
my hands. Suddenly, we were both back where I first was, the windowless, doorless room. “Valerie, are you ready to go home?” he asked. I shook my head and
said, “But I am home. I am in the place where all the angels and saints are.
Where God is staying.” This time, Uncle George shook me, hard. “This is not
heaven! Child, this is not what you think it is! This is a place where people
who had taken their life away from God because of all the hurdles and obstacles
on earth.” I was confused. In between the sobs and tears, I managed to croak
out, “Will I ever go into heaven?” He shook his head sadly. “No, you won’t. You
wouldn’t meet your parents, you wouldn’t meet Thomas, and you wouldn’t meet
Jake anymore.” I felt my knee grow weak. I fell to the ground. I sat there
sobbing. “Why? Why can’t I go into heaven? Why can’t I meet my family again?
Why?” I cried pitifully. Uncle George sat down beside me, and explained,
“People who had taken their own life before their actual time will go stay at a
place, unknown to them, lonely and quiet. Because they didn’t know that it was
the consequences of killing one’s self. They didn’t know how selfish it is for
them to take their own life away from their family and friends. Their family
will be sad and heartbroken, their friends will be very upset, but do you know
who will be the one who will be grieving for the loss of their life?” he asked.
He wiped the tears off my eyes. I shook my head. “God will be the one be crying
the most. God made you in the image of himself, he named you, and also, he had
written how your life will be if you had chosen the right path. He had written
all of that down into the tiniest detail ever possible. By killing yourself,
you had disrupted the journey of your life. It is not God’s choice for people
to go to heaven; it is the person’s own choice.” Uncle George hugged me tight
while I cry. I felt the wound of my left hand hurt again, that burning
sensation in it. Uncle George asked me for the third time, “Valerie, do you
want to go home?” I sobbed. I opened my mouth, trying to speak, but nothing
came out. I just nodded desperately.
Uncle George looked at me in the eye, wiped my
tears one last time. “My friend here is going to bring you back home. Take
care, ‘kay? Don’t do anything stupid from now on. We will meet again the next
time.” He gave me a cheeky grin which I smiled. He took my hand and gave it to
an unknown man. I couldn’t see his face, but at the touch of his hand, I knew
who he was, he was Christ. “Bye kiddo, see you soon.” That was the last I heard
from Uncle George.
The next thing I felt was just serenity. I felt
someone hugging me tightly, not wanting to let me go. But he had to. He let go
of his embrace, whispered, ‘I love you’ into my ear, and let me fall. It felt
like my heart was going to come out of me any second, but I know that I was
safe. Soon, I felt a huge pain in my left arm and in my head, nausea flooding
through my senses. I tried opening my eyes, fluttering them. My vision wasn’t
focused. But after a couple of blinks, I could see. I saw, everything. I saw my
mother, my father, Thomas, and Jake. Mum was crying waterfalls; Dad had this
huge smile on his face. Jake was happy I was finally back, he took my good hand
and kissed it. Thomas was frantically calling the doctors. I knew that things
had changed for the better. I smiled with my face under the oxygen mask.
I was examined by the medical team, and was told I
was away from the danger zone. After a month in the hospital, I was certified
well and a clean bill of health, enough to go home. When I got home, everything
had changed. Dad stopped drinking and went for anger management therapies.
Thomas was going to study to be a lawyer in the city. Mum and Dad decided to
give their marriage another go, trying to salvage whatever left. I was happy
with the change, all was happy. As for me, I also had my happy ending, or sort
of? Jake and I graduated high school, went into the same college and
university. I met new people there who became my best friends. Jake and I began
dating throughout the years in university. At our senior year, Jake proposed to
me. We were engaged and got married right after we finished university. I have
a beautiful daughter Katie, and another baby boy coming on its way. Every night
before I sleep, I pray. I would stand by Katie’s crib and thank Uncle George,
for not giving up on me and continued to tell me to go home, I prayed to God
for giving me that precious second chance to live again. If I hadn’t taken the
offer, I wouldn’t know what had happened if I had continue living. I thank God,
for that second chance.
