I Don't Deserve Your Love

By nature, I am a quiet kind of guy. I have a couple of friends, but not any one of them is close to me. I never had a girlfriend before. I never liked to talk to a girl because I am an introvert. I never fallen for a girl before, until I met her.

I was in a park when I saw a guy slapping a girl. The girl was crying in pain. I didn’t know what happened to me at that moment. I went up to the guy and pulled him away from the girl. The girl immediately hid behind me. The guy wanted to punch me in the face, but thank god I learned Taekwondo when I was younger. In the end, he ran away with a broken nose. I turned my attention to the girl. “Hey, you okay?” I asked. Even though her eyes were swollen from crying and her cheeks were tear-stained, she looked beautiful. “I’m okay…” I heard her whispered. I brought her to a bench nearby and sat down. I took out a tissue and wiped her cheeks. I saw a small cut on her chin. “You have a small cut on your chin…” I said. Her hand voluntarily went to her chin. Her long slender fingers grazed lightly along the wound. “Its okay…” she eventually replied.

After awhile, she calmed down enough for me to ask her what happened. “The guy you punched just now was my boyfriend.” she said. “I wanted to break up with him for a long time, but he didn’t want to. So, he started to yell at me and beat me up.” I saw her arms were full of bruises and scars. “Thank you for helping me…” she said, and smiled at me. I noticed that was the most beautiful smile I ever seen. “I just couldn’t bring myself to see that dude beat you up like that.” I replied timidly. She grinned and held out her hand, “I haven’t formally introduced myself. Hi, my name’s Clare.” I shook her out stretched hand, “I’m Vincent.”

From that point on, we started to know each other. We exchanged numbers, added each other in the social network. I didn’t have the guts to start a conversation via online or through the phone. It was Clare who started everything. Because of her, I used the computer practically everyday. We would talk on the phone till the wee hours of morning. I loved the way she giggles through the phone. I knew there and then I was falling for her. On every weekend evening, we would meet up at the park and just talk and chat. I really enjoy our little chatting sessions. Sometimes, we would just meet up there and go for a latte or even dinner together. I can see Clare is more of the extrovert. She is the cute, bubbly girl I had fallen for. And I can see that Clare also noticed I was the quiet one. We had gotten really close within 2 months time.

One night, Clare messaged me. “Hey, Vince. You free tomorrow night? Meet me at the park at 10pm. Hope you could go. =)” I actually smiled reading the message. I agreed to it and told her I can’t wait. The next day, I couldn’t stay still. I was really excited to meet her. by 9.30pm, I drove to the park and waited for her there. Within a couple of few minutes, I saw Clare walking towards me, smiling widely. I saw that she was holding a brown paper bag. “Hi Vincent.” She said, smiling widely. I just smiled in reply. “I wanted to see the stars tonight. So, I hoped you wouldn’t mind calling you out. I brought a sandwich for the each of us.” I smiled. We both went to the empty field and sat on the soft grass. After eating the delicious sandwich while chatting, we lay on the field. We just stare up into the beautiful night sky where the pretty stars twinkle. A breeze came and went. I felt Clare shivered. I took off my jacket and put it on her. “Thanks.” She smiled, and planted a kiss on the cheek. I pulled her closer to me. I was waiting for her to pull away, but it didn’t happen. She lay on my shoulder while stargazing. We were silent for awhile. Suddenly, we saw a meteor in the night sky. “Oh my goodness! A meteor! Make a wish! Make a wish!” Immediately, she closed her eyes, clasped her hand and started wishing. I decided to do the same too. I closed my eyes. ‘I wish…that Clare feels the same way for me too…’ When I opened my eyes, I saw Clara peering into me curiously. “What did you wished for?” she asked. I shook my head and gave a laugh. “I can’t tell you, if not the wish won’t work…” I said. “What about you?” I asked. “Me? Well, no harm telling you. I just don’t want to be with guys who beat me up…the last one with Paul, just makes me want to stay away from any relationship.” she replied. My mood sank low when I heard that. “Vincent, I love being with you. You are the best-est friend I ever had. Sometimes I think I don’t deserve your friendship…” I put both of my hand on her shoulders, “Of course not. Don’t be silly. I am happy to have you as my best friend too…” I kissed her on her forehead, something I wouldn’t dare to do before I met her.

After that night, I still haven’t told her my feelings for her, especially after I heard her wish. I didn’t want to lose our friendship because of my feelings for her. So, I became more conscious whenever I was with her. But my feelings towards her began to increase as days past. I thought my little secret would stay hidden for a very long time, but sometime later, it finally resurfaced.

It was the weekend again. I decided to get two cups of latte for the both of us downtown. Because of the long queue there, I was a little late reaching the park. I was looking for Clare when I saw a familiar guy in the park. His hand was holding Clare’s wrist. She was trying to loosen the grip. I knew that instant who it was. It was Paul. I could see Clare crying in pain at the tight grip of Paul’s hand. I didn’t even bother about the coffee in my hand, I ran towards them and pushed Paul aside. “Dude, what’s your problem?” I asked him. I could see his bloodshot eyes staring back at me. “I want to talk to my girlfriend. Move over, bastard!” He tried to shove me aside, but I didn’t move an inch. Clare was behind me, holding onto my arm tightly. “Who says that Clare is your girlfriend?” he asked. “Of course she is, right, baby?” he asked Clare. Clare didn’t dare to look at Paul. I knew she was terrified. “You are wrong. She is my girlfriend now.” I replied plainly. I could see the shock in Paul’s eyes. But within seconds, the shock turned into anger. He tried to get hold of Clare. “Clare, you didn’t tell me you were with him.” Before he could even touch her arm, I gave a huge punch on his nose. He cried out in pain. I could see blood coming out from his nose. “I want you to leave Clare alone, understand?” I asked. He nodded, and wobbled off.

“Clare, are you alright?” I asked, getting worried. “I…I think so…but, I think I sprained my wrist.” The both of us sat down on us bench. I massaged her wrist, trying to ease the pain. After a couple of minutes of silence, she asked, “Vincent, you like me, don’t you?” I could feel myself turning red. I didn’t know what to say. I just nodded eventually. “Vince, look at me in the eye.” she said. I looked into her green eyes, the beautiful pair of eyes that I loved. “Vince, you know very well I don’t deserve any love from other people, especially you after you had saved me twice from Paul. I shook my head, “Of course not, you deserve everything and anything.” She shook her head over and over again. I could see tears flowing down her cheek again. “No, I don’t deserve anybody’s love. Even my parents, my family doesn’t love me. Why should I need another man’s love?” And she cried even more. I hugged her tightly. I whispered into her ear, “I love you for who you are. For what you had given me. You made me a different person after I met you.” I looked into her eyes. “That is why, you deserve everything and anything. You deserve my love.” I just kissed her there and then.