Ok, I guess I have stupid envisions of the future that I thought it might happen, which in reality, it doesn't. I thought that all would be the same as the past, all of what I hoped for would fall back into place. But no, after more than 3 months, it still the same. What had changed was, I thought you had gave up on it. Well, I think what I saw was wrong, but sadly, I eventually had given up on it, after nearly a year... The crying stops for awhile, the clingy feeling left, loneliness seeps in. I actually aknowledged you as my first, not my second. Why? Because my first did not make me feel comfortable in my own skin, I did not fall in love with him at all. It was all the illusion of love that covered my senses. No doubt I cry about because, well, I guess I thought I was in a relationship. But in reality, I don't think I was. Sigh. Oh well. What I could I do?
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