Faith

My finger touched against the rough fabric of Tony's attitre, his army suit. The dark green cloth had the strong smell of mud and dust. Suddenly, a sob caught up. My finger retracted. Tony hadn't come since the last time he went out for war. It was also the last time I saw him, and it was the last argument. The argument was so bad. I remember the whole scenario which was really, really heart wrenching...

It was the night before he was to leave fr his next posting. It was so sad to watch him pack his things, his army baggage, his army boots, everything. I remember placing my face into my palms in frustration. I didn't want him to leave. i started crying then. Tony heard my quiet sobs. He came over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. ''Lenna, are you okay?'' I shook my head, not sure what to say. ''Shhh...Lenna, please, tell me...what's wrong?'' He hugged me tight. I breathe out a shaky breath. ''Do you, have to go? Really, really go?'' Tony didn't know what to say. Finally, he found words to speak, ''Lenna, you know that I have to, for the country and everybody...'' I pushed him aside, ''What about me? Don't you love me?'' He came over and hugged me again, 'Í love you too. But, you have to know, the country needs me. The people needs me.'' I know I am just being whiny and rediculous but, I want him to just come back and don't get me worried any more. I pushed him aside and just blew off. 'Í want you here with me! I can't stand you being so a far away. Do you know how alone I had been since you had left!?'' And the arguement picked up from there. The only thing I ever remembered through all my tears were, ''Why did I ever marry you?''

The next day, he was gone. I didn't have the chance to say goodbye. I knew I had made him very angry and dissapointed in me. I don't even know why I was like that. Soon, I understand why, I was having his child in me. And I have a gut feeling that the child didn't want him to leave. Months have past since I last heard of Tony. The time that past was so long, that I gave birth to our baby. I named his daughter Faith Valentine because she was borned on Valentine's day, our wedding anniversary. I remember very well that I wrote many many letters to him, telling him that I am pregnant, that we have a daughter and that we want him to come home. But he never reply any of them. I was so upset and had been living in a guilt all those times after he had left. I can't believe I said whatever I had said to Tony.

After nearly a year of him not around due to the war happening, the time for him come back home. I let Faith wear a pretty nice dress and waited for the truck that always bring Tony back. Finally, the truck came. I was so happy, that I brought Faith in my arms and when out to the porch, but, Tony never came. The two commisioned officers came, carrying a military suit and a box.

''Mrs. Michaels? I am Sergeant Jackson, and this is Sergeant Vales. I would like to tell you that your Navy husband, Anthony Michaels had passed away. My condolences.''

When I heard, I was so shocked. Too shock to even cry. My senses were messed up. I didn't know what to do. My few months old daughter were looking at me with her wide big eyes. I was trying hold back my tears.

''Mrs. Michaels, this is your husband's suit, his badge for service and a letter that didn't get to be send to you. I'm sorry, your husband was a great loss to our nation and also to you and your young daughter. G'day madam.''

I took all of Tony's things and went back in with Faith. I sat down after settling Faith in her crib next to me. I sliced open the letter and a small bronze locket fell off the floor. I bend down and picked it up. I wiped the locket and saw words carved. It said, 'Faith, I love you...' I held it close to my heart. I took out the letter and tried to not cry.

'Dear Lenna,

I'm sorry that I made you angry that night. I know that you miss me very much and you were not well. When I heard you were pregnant with my child, I was so happy and really wanted to come home and just take care of you. I want to see you and the baby. I want to see our daughter grow, but, I guess it can't happen. Lenna, you were the best thing that had ever happen to me. And now, you had given me the best gift in my life, even though I may not be able to see our daughter grow. I want you to take care of my, of 'our' daughter for me.

I am very sick now, and dying from and epidemic that had been spreading like wildfire here. I found a locket with our child's name. I also had left a photo of me and you in it, for our daughter to see when she gets older. Lenna, I love you. Please, take care of yourself and Faith. And its not your fault for everything that has happened or is going to happen.

Faith, take care of your mummy when you get older. Don't make her get mad. She's just trying to take care of you. Here's the locket for you.

I really want you to call me one last time, to call me Tony one last time. Faith dear, I want you to call me daddy too. I guess I may not have that last wish from the both of you.

I love the both of you, really I do.

Love,
Anthony Michaels
Your beloved husband and father


After reading it, I couldn't contain my sadness any longer. I was really crying like a basin overflowing with water. Suddenly, I heard Faith talking. ''Momma...''

I was so shocked to hear that. In the midst of my tears, i went towards her. ''Faith dear, what did you say?'' I asked her. But she didn't say anything. So, i opened the locket. In the locket, there was the wedding photo of me and Tony. I held back a sob. Faith saw Tony and said, ''dad.....dy...'' I was so happy when I heard that. In my mind, I thought, 'Tony, Faith is calling for you...''I smiled through my tears as I snuggled Faith. I sniffed, ''Tony, I love you...''