A Soldier's Love

“Tanya, is everything done in the kitchen?” I was getting the food ready for my anniversary dinner with Jeremy tomorrow. It was our second wedding anniversary and I wanted to have a surprise dinner for him when he comes back from his posting in Iraq. Jeremy’s mum, Molly was helping me feed Helen, my one year old baby. I couldn’t wait for him to be back, Helen and I really miss him. I invited some of Jeremy’s platoon mates’ wives too. He is going to invite some of his mates.

It was the day of our anniversary. I made some minor adjustments and the party was ready to start. Soon, I saw a few of the girls have arrived. Molly was with me too. I carried Helen and introduced her to the girls. ‘Where is Jeremy?’ I thought. While we were chatting happily, we saw a MPV driving up my street. I saw the army badge on the car. Suddenly, my heart skipped a beat. I held Helen closed to me. Molly saw the car too, and came to hug me. The girls saw it too, and the atmosphere became solemn all of the sudden. I know what the silence meant, which of our husbands had been sacrificed himself at the war. When the car came to a stop, two men in soldier attire stepped out. One of them was holding a letter. When they finally arrived at the porch, they gave a salute and asked, “May I know who is Mrs. Sherwood?” Molly and I went up. “I am Frank Sherwood’s wife, this is Jeremy Sherwood’s wife…” she said while pointing to me. The men turned to me. My heart literally stopped beating then. ‘No, it can’t be happening…No!’ I was the only thing going through my head. “I’m sorry Mrs. Sherwood, your husband; Jeremy Sherwood had been killed while serving his duty in Afghanistan…” I was stunned, I didn’t expect that. Molly was already in tears. Helen started to cry, I held her closer and whispered soothing words to her.

I was still in a daze; I didn’t know what to do. The news seemed so surreal to me. Two days later, Frank Sherwood came back. I never had seen my father-in-law before and this was the first time. He came back to escort his son’s body back from the army base for the funeral. We met him at the funeral home, where they had put Jeremy’s body for the funeral. Frank hugged his wife and said it was going to be okay. Molly started to sob. Frank comforted her. When Molly was okay, she introduced Frank to his granddaughter. I let Frank carried Helen. “She’s so beautiful…” was the only thing he could say. I went in to the funeral home with them. I carried Helen while Molly and Frank went in to see their son. I saw Molly’s reaction when she saw Jeremy. I thought she was going to faint. Frank held her by her shoulders. I heard Molly saying, “Why, Frank? Why must he go...he’s still so young…Why…?” Frank just patted her on her shoulder to comfort her.

When Helen had slept soundly, I started to walk into the room. But, I couldn’t see Jeremy’s body. No, I wouldn’t want to see him. I walked straight to the chair and cried. Finally, Jeremy’s death had hit me. Reality finally sank in. Tears kept coming while I hugged Helen closer to me. The only words in my mind were, ‘Jeremy’s dead…Jeremy’s dead…’ Molly and Frank came over to me and gave me a hug and words of assurance.

A friend of mine, Ashley, came by and took me home. She spent the night at my place to keep me company. The whole evening, Ashley kept asking, “Tanya, are you okay? Hang in there…” During the whole night, I kept dreaming of Jeremy. That was the only thing on my mind, him. I dreamt about him until I woke up in the middle of the night, crying. I felt tired but my mind was full of thoughts. I kept thinking why God have to take his life away from me, from us? Helen was still so young. Molly and Frank were not ready for all this stress, especially Frank, since he is still in the army.

When I saw the small hand of the clock turned five, I got up to have a shower. The energy in my body was drained out. The dark circles around my eyes were so noticeable. And my face looked sunken in. I gave a sad sigh and went to get my black dress out. I put the dress on and went and get Helen ready. Helen was sleeping soundly while I carried her. Ashley was already ready. Ashley drove us to the church where the service was held. Molly and Frank were already there. Frank asked whether he could carry Helen. I smiled and I gave the sleeping Helen to him. I saw a huge photo of Jeremy in his formal army suit. I went closer to the photo. I was not aware of myself, tracing his face on the photograph with my finger. I tried holding back the tears, but eventually, it gave me a minor headache. Before the service started, Frank carried Helen back to me. I sat beside Molly and Ashley.

The priest led the congregation into prayer and blessed Jeremy. After that, Jeremy’s platoon partner, Steve gave a speech:

“To Jeremy’s friends, family, and loved ones, today is a very sad and solemn day for us, for today is the final journey of Jeremy Sherwood. I would like to tell you all, especially to his parents, Sergeant Frank Sherwood, Mrs. Molly Sherwood, his wife, Mrs. Tanya Sherwood and his darling, beautiful daughter, Helen Ann, that Jeremy Sherwood is a kind and great man. He rather save other people’s life instead of his. He is a hero to many, especially here in the army. He is also a friendly man. He has a great family here, and also in the army. He has a huge family that he cares of there, and also here. I remember him telling me that, family always comes first in his life. Thank you.”

I cried hearing that. I miss Jeremy so much. Before everyone left, we pay our last respects to Jeremy. When it was my turn, I gave a kiss on his cheek. His cheek felt so cold. I whispered, “Goodbye…” and left. I wanted to go home when one of Jeremy’s friends from the army, John came by and gave me an envelope, saying that it was Jeremy’s. I took it back home.

I put Helen back into her bed while I opened the envelope. I instantly recognized Jeremy’s smooth cursive.

“Dear Tanya,
I suddenly had the urge to write this to you and Helen. I want to tell you that I love the both of you. You two are the best thing that ever happened in my life. Help me tell Mum and Dad that, I love them very much too. Remember, I love you.

Love,

Jeremy Sherwood
7th December 2009”

I stared at the date for a very long time. He wrote this letter the day before he died. I started crying again as his words ring clear in my head, “I love you…”