I was sad the first time when you left, I couldn't sent you off. But I know if I did sent you off, you would put up a huge fight with your mum and dad. You were just 16.
But the second time you were leaving for good, I know I had to send you off. I know I would regret if I didn't.
But it felt so painful to be honest. The car ride to the airport. Just putting my head on your shoulders like how we used to do. If felt foreign yet same at the same time. My mind was blank. Like it was hoping that the time would just stop there, at that moment forever. Rather than hoping time would stop for me in my sleep. But time didn't.
I helped you with you bags and luggage, eve though you said not to. I wanted to. Rolled the bag to the trolley and lift it up there. I pushed it for you, while you helped. It felt the happy yet sad to do something so minimal with you but it meant so much to me.
We waited for the call time. We just talked like we used to. Your sister and brother in law sat somewhere else while I sat with you.
When it was boarding time, I started to cry. Tears just came. Sobs came. I was such a mess. Your sister said goodbye, your bro in law said see you soon. I? I didn't know what to say, but just cry.
I felt num. Nothing. But I heard you say don't cry, its fate. That didn't want us to be together. And, well, he just put his lips on mine.
Not like those usual pecks on the lips he used to give me. But more firm, more emotion. I could see a tear from his eye. I felt his hand on my face. I wanted the world to freeze. Really.
'Goodbye...'
*I am just very very very very very very emo after having a caffeine and sugar withdrawal...one symptom that is like the devil's arse after taking 3 in 1 coffee*
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