Jenny

Jenny
Heart-wrenching. Fat tears rolling down as patches of memories flew past my mind. More tears came as each one gave me a throbbing ache within me. Why? Why was life so unfair? I couldn’t stand it much longer as exhaustion slowly crawling up in me. Before my body gave its way, I sunk into the arm chair. I massaged my hurting temple as I tried to see sense, why did God have to let me go through the torment. Why did she have to leave? And why so soon? I saw a photo album, beat-up and old sitting on the coffee table, at the corner of my eye. I had never seen it before. Soon, Curiosity crept in and left Sadness waiting in a distant corner of my mind. I picked it up, and flipped it opened.

Gasp! The photo on the first page met my wet eyes with a shock. A little girl in pigtails met my eyes, beside her, it was me. Me? I couldn’t believe it! In that photo, I was only 7, just started school. And on the first day, I had met Jenny. She was a pretty girl and happy one too. As I remembered that memory, my eyes wield up. Tears rolled down as I closed my eyes. I knew her since we were so young. I was her best friend and the one who knew her so well. Soon, my mind wandered to another memory.

I remembered the day when I told Jenny that I had loved her. I was walking her back to her home after a party that ended very late at night. I had a crush on her that year when we were in our first year of college. As I was walking her back home, our hands brushed against each other as we walked. I saw her smiling to herself and recoiled her hand. “Sorry…” I said, as I felt my face flushed. Her cheeks were also pink. When we reached her home, I didn’t want her to go yet. “Bye…and thank you for walking me back home…” she said. I got hold of her wrist before she could take any step further. “Jenny, wait…” She turned and her dark brown eyes looked into mine. I felt my heart beating faster as time past. I didn’t know what to say, but I just want her to know that I loved her. Soon, she leaned towards me. So close that I could feel her warm breath. Before anything happened, I leaned forward even more, and kissed her. After we were done, I whispered ever so lightly into her ear, “I love you…”

I couldn’t help it, I cried again when that memory faded. It happened nearly 20 years ago, but it still felt fresh in my mind. As that memory faded, another one came up. It was the day of our wedding.

My palms were sweaty as the minutes ticked past. I glanced at the clock; it was already going to be 10. My heart pounded as I stood in front of the altar. I kept pinching myself to know whether was I dreaming, or whether all of this was real. Soon, the wedding march was played. Everybody was standing, and I couldn’t see Jenny at all. Soon, my eyes only could see her, Jenny. She was in the most elegant wedding dress I had ever seen. The colour made her eyes stood out even more. Such beautiful eyes. The only thing I could see was her and only her. My mind could only thought about her and nothing else. She was mine, and I was hers. As she came nearer to me, I reached out, and there she was, in my arms. I didn’t hear anything the reverend was saying. I didn’t even have to say anything until the ‘I do’ part. When that passed, the only thing I heard was, “You may kiss the bride…” I literally crashed my face into hers, which made both of us laughed. Because of that, we were nicknamed the laughing couple. That was the best day of my life.

I smiled a little at that memory until I smelled the bitter taste of medicine. Suddenly, I remembered where the memory was taking me. It was the year when I had to spent time in the hospital with Jenny. She was dying.

After 3 years of being happily married, Jenny became sick, very sick. She became coughing non stop throughout the nights. She had bruises on her and her hair kept falling. She kept saying she was fine and healthy, and I believed her until I saw her coughing out blood. She coughed out so much of it and became unconscious. I rushed her to the hospital. There, the doctors did many test, and found out she was having leukemia, the terminal stage. My heart just dropped instantly when I heard the news. Fearing for the worst, I asked, “How long will she still be alive?” I saw the doctor’s sad look in his eyes and he shook his head, “Another 6 months to a year. Be prepared, brother.” Day in, day out, I spent all my time with Jenny at the hospital. The chemo didn’t change anything, she was still so sick, and her health was deteriorating. She put up a brave front whenever she saw me; I did, too, put up a brave front for her. But I would just break down in the bathroom whenever I was alone. She tried to be happy and cheerful. One day, something she said shocked me. “James? Will I see you again? After I die?” I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know what to say or do. I felt tears coming up. She started crying too. I hugged her, trying to calm her down. “Yes, I will see you again. Even after you…leave… We are meant to be together. Until the end of time…” A week after that, she left, in my arms. I was hugging her, when she closed her eyes forever.

That pain ached within me every time. I cried when I kissed her, a few minutes after she died. I cried when I kissed her before she was buried during her funeral. I cried before I slept every night. I couldn’t eat. It was already a week since her burial. My mind clouded with confusion. The photo album in my hand slipped off, and fell with a thud on the floor. I bent down to pick it up when an envelope slipped out from the album. It was addressed to me.

“Dear beloved James,
I know I won’t be long on this world anymore. But I always want you to know that I love you, for a very long time. We will be always together, even if I’m not around anymore. We are meant to be together, till the end of time. Stay strong and take care. I love you.

Love,
Jennifer ‘Jenny’”

The letter was smudged by my tears and also some of hers. My hands shook violently. I love you too, Jenny… I whispered into the empty room.

Written on 1st of March
Jehanne Copyrighted.