Timelined Emotions

This surge of sudden emotion,
Suddenly comes out of the sudden.
Suddenly feelimg lonely,
But knowing lonely for a long time.

Sudden tears will flow,
Some for a short time,
Other for a long time.
Many times in my life,

Past,
Present,
Future.
But each time is different.

In the past,
People would comfort me.
The ones who love me,
And mean a lot to me.

In the future,
Someone would risk his own life,
Just to make me feel happy,
So that he would, too, be happy.

But now,
In the present,
I am not met by anyone like so.

I just want to know someone is there,
To hug me,
To wipe my tears,
At the moment of moodiness now.

Beautiful

*this is the first time I am writing in a third person's POV. Hope it isn't bad. Enjoy!*

Penny knew that William was different. She felt very comfortable with him. Unlike the past two failed relationships with Dan and Cooper. Its not
that they are bad or anything, its just that she wasn't comfortable with them, even during the relationship. She always try to impress the both of them with the way she presented herself when going out with them. Sometimes, some secrets were not even shared with them. With William, its different.

Even though she knew William's existance for about 2 months, but she felt comfortable with him, she trusted him too, unlike the last two. Slowly, she knew she is falling for him, each time she meets him. But she doesn't know how he felt towards her. She sees signals of him maybe liking her too, but she's just not sure.

One day, he invited her over to his farm. He made dinner for the two of them. They chatted and shared personal childhood stories and it felt right to Penny.

Once dinner was over, they sat at the porch and just shared a silent moment together. It was not awkward at all, but the silence is rather soothing. Even though he had his arm around Penny, she didn't feel uncomfortable like it was the last time with either Dan or Cooper. It felt...right. Safe and right.

There were stars all over the night sky, something the city lass, Penny would never see. Its weird to Penny, falling for a guy who is very much different to guys she knows in the city.

'Wow, the stars looks so beautiful...' Penny said, gazing up into the night sky. 'Yeah...beautiful...' he said. Another silent moment together.

Little did Penny know, William was referring the compliment to her. While Penny was staring into the night sky in awe, he was looking at her. 'Beautiful...' he said again.

7ove

"The word love is so cliché. People in a relationship says I love you to one another. Why? Because they feel is the right moment to say and express it. I believe more of action than words.

I love you.

You love me.

You see, the word 'love' is overrated and had been misused for countless of times from the past to the present. This may be the reason of break ups and broken marriages but let's not go to there.

You see, I don't love you, and I don't want you to say you love me too. Its just words. It doesn't justify anything.

I just want both of us to just pay attention to the simple things in life that revolves around us and our relationship.

I want you to just understand why I just liked being quiet at night, let it be if I hug you while watching a movie, listening to music or just stare into the night sky. I am like that, its how I wind down a day of me, not being me.

I want you to understand I have trust issues with people I had dated. Even if you are a friend of mine before we got to become more than friends, I still can't trust people much with my personal details in life and my secrets of my past.

I want you to know that when you fill those intimate spaces between my fingers when holding my hand means a lot to me. It gives a bond that both of us shared.

I want you to know that when you hug me, the warmth radiates from your body actually gives a calming effect. Especially to people like me, who worries far too much and far too often. Its like alcohol, a temporary solution to a painful question.

I want you to know, each kiss you had given me and that I have given you, whether just a small peck or a really passionate one, they give me butterflies everytime, and they somehow reminds me of the promises you had given to me or that I had gave you. Simple, but important promises.

The spoken words and silent gestures that we had shared are like our secrets, our validity of what we are going through. The words we speak, the silence we listen. Communication.

You see, I don't say I love you is because of the reasons above. But you had understand it in the wrong way. I don't force you to say I love you, but I just wanted to feel it. I guess that won't be happening.

The attraction, interaction, commitment, personal time and space were shared. I guess you felt it wasn't enough. So let the heartbreak and hope began. Hence the title. Seven.

Bye."

Different perspective of ourselves

We live three different lives. Public, Personal and Secret. We want others to know us in a certain way, a way we try to portray, an image we see ourself in. Our personal life is for the people who loves us dearly, loved ones. Secret is like what the word itself says, a secret.

Sometimes we are not conscious by this, but in reality, everyone, regardless of race or religion.

A chapter torn

I have written a lot of my life, as a diary, as a book with chapters, whatever you called it. But I have, whether mentally or literally had written it down. When one chapter closes, I tear them from the book, staple them and put them in a cupboard and never read it again. Just yesterday, I closed another one. The past 5 years have many different chapters. Finishing the first half of high school, broken off from the first love, found a second, broke off that too, graduated from high school, reconcile back with the first, enter college and university, the first left for good. So many, some are happy, some aren't so. But why I tear them from the main? Is for me to know that it has end, time to move on. Hope this works.

Leaving on the jet plane

"I wish I would know of a way of not hurting you again, but I am happy at the same time that you are here, sending me off, knowing we are not going to see each other again in the future. I miss how we were when we were young then, but I know I will miss the past 6 months even more. Goodbye bunny head...miss you." He took his hand carry luggage and with his passport in hand, he went to the boarding hall, turned, and waved. That was the time I see his smile and his tears, both at the same time, and the last time.

Acting roles

At a young age, I love acting. It makes me express myself into someone I wanted to be. Who is suitable for the role. To just not be me. But I grew up not comfortable with myself at all. I lost the ability to act when I enter high school. But, it turns out, my life after that was just an act. I acted as if I am alright when I am not. I acted I am tough and strong and nothing pushes me off guard. I was concerned for others more than myself. Because I need a diversion from breaking down. From losing myself. Until the late hours of the night, until the wee hours of morning, until I couldn't hold back the tears any much longer.

I acted as someone I wanted to be. But never could.