A poem

Meeting you was unexpected,
Being friends with you was a coincidence,
Having feelings for you was by chance,
Being in love together is by fate,
Falling apart is by decision.
Being strangers again is just by what you choose.

Slowly and painfully

Never play with other people's feelings
Especially with the woman who loves you and you've hurt before
It's worst than playing a loaded gun
You might forever kill her love
Or hurt her too much she'll stay away from you even if it kills her
Slowly and painfully
Nothing a wounded heart cannot bear
another tear
another hurtful words
Soon you'll hear or see her no more

A long quote I've found online. This shall be the last of you. I've thought you meant good to me. But I guess toying with my feelings overwrites every single thing you did that's right. Goodbye, and never to be seen or heard no more.

Hello, I'm Mae

Hello,
I am Mabel.
You can call me Mae.
I had been through a lot of shit in the last year.
I was battered and got hurt.
I fought to continue having real emotions in me.
I was toyed like a ragged doll,
By a jerk,
A bugger,
Who used to say 'I love you' to me.
I am sick of this.
Never say you will still be there for me,
Especially when you said I was the cause of whatever we had between us fall apart.

Hello,
I am Mae,
Don't say that you want to talk to me,
Everytime you did,
Was because you were upset.
Don't find me when you are sad.
I am not your listener no more.
I am not for you to be played with.
I am not an object to find when you are in distress.
Let the past be the past and never have you in the future.

Hello,
I am Mae.
Get lost.
And never come back.
Ever.

Goodbye.

I knew it,
I knew you had let go,
I has this feeling,
A sixth sense,
But how could you?
Maybe I was naive still,
Inexperience.
But,
I can't blame you that you could let go so easily.
But at least I know,
The feelings you had for me was never true,
Never lasting.
Now and forever,
Goodbye.

Hmm

1. Last hug: a long time ago. Couldn't remember
2. Last phone call: My mun
3. Last text message: A new friend
4. Last song I heard: Daylight by Maroon 5
5. Last time I cried: a few days ago

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: all my exes
7. Been cheated on: no
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: kinda?
9. Lost someone special: yes
10. Been depressed: many times
11. Cried over something stupid: yes

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12: Blue
13: Purple
14: Black

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made a new friend: Yes
16. Fallen out of love: Yes
17. Laughed until you cried: Yes
18. Met someone who changed you: No
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yes
20. Found out someone was talking about you: I don't know
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: No

YOUR LIFE.
22.How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: A lot
23. How many kids do you want: maximum: 2
24. Do you have any pets: Yes
25. Do you want to change your name: Maybe
26. What did you do for your last Birthday: I cried
27. What time did you wake up today: 9am
28.What were you doing at midnight last night: On facebook
29. Name something you cannot wait for: To sleep and dream
30. Last time you saw your mother: Just a fee seconds ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: My whole perception
32. What are you listening to right now: Nothing
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Yes
34. Who's getting on your nerves right now: My dog
35. Most visited webpage: My blog/facebook
36. Whats your real name: Mabel
37. Nicknames: Mae, May, Joan, Mab, Mabes
38. Relationship Status: Single
39. Zodiac sign: Scorpio
40. Male or female: female
41. Primary school: SJK (C) Chee Wen
42. Secondary School: SMK Seafield
43 Long or short: Long hair
44. Height: about 5 foot 4?
45. Do you have a crush on someone: I don't want to know
46. What do you like about yourself: My smile?
47. Piercings: on my ears
48. Tattoos: might get one
49. Righty or lefty: righty

FIRSTS:
50. First piercing: ears
51. First best friend: i can't remember
52. First sport you joined: Badminton
53. First vacation: Penang

RIGHT NOW:
54. Eating: No
55. Drinking: No
56. I'm about to: Sleep
57. Listening to: No
58. Waiting for: I don't know

YOUR FUTURE:
59. Want kids: Yes
60. Get married: Yes
61. Career: Of course

WHICH IS BETTER:
62. Lips or eyes: eyes
63. Hugs or kisses:  both
64. Shorter or taller: taller
65. Older or Younger: older
66. Romantic or spontaneous: both
67. Nice stomach or nice arms: i have no idea
68. Sensitive or loud: both
69. Hook-up or relationship: relationship

HAVE YOU EVER:
70. Kissed by a stranger: yes
71. Drank hard liquor: used to
72. Lost glasses/contacts: lost my glasses
73. Kissed someone your not dating: yes
74. Broken someone's heart: yes
75. Been arrested: no
76. Turned someone down: yes
77. Cried when someone died: yes
78.fallen for a friend: yes

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
79. Yourself: no
80. Miracles: yes
81. Love at first sight: I don't anymore
82. Heaven: yes
83. Santa Clause: no
84. Kiss on the first date: no
85. Angels: yes

I'll answer honestly O:)
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: no
95. Did you sing today: yes
96. Ever cheated on somebody: no
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: the day i was conceived
98. The moment you would choose: at prom during 2008
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: now? Yes. Likely.
100: Do you like the way you look: no.

What if?

Life is full of 'what ifs',
What if I did this,
What if I did that,
Is always the question.
I have a question for myself,
What if I didn't want to let you go?
What if I agreed to going overseas with you?
Will we still be together even till now?
Or you left me for someone prettier than me,
Better than me,
And leave me all alone in a lone country by myself.
I might just decided to kill myself,
I might turn to drugs,
I might get myself in prison.
Everything may be a possibility,
If I made a different decision.

Its all just the past

Its shit to know that everything I had hoped for was a lie? Everything I saw in the future just go down in pieces. Well, I was the only person who was just hoping, you didn't. I guess I was the biggest idiot ever exist. And well, I do deserve to die.